Welcome to Video 8 of my free 8-day Video Series leading up to the launch of my Inner Critic to Inner Coach eCourse. Every day I’ll be talking about an area of significance to your life, and how negative self-talk either causes or perpetuates that problem. And then importantly, a quick-and-dirty instant solution that you can use right away to make a difference to yourself. In this case how to set a goal and actually achieve it.
The secrets of achieving goals? Firstly, you need to have one. Do you have a goal you’re working towards? If not then get one! Goals are really important, your brain loves them. Working towards something in your life makes you feel happier and builds up self-confidence.
Secondly, you need to believe you can achieve it. This part is influenced by two things:
- the goal actually being achievable and possible. If you’re just 4 feet tall, you’re probably not going to make it as professional basketball player.
- your internal self-talk
The first one is fairly straight forward. Your goal needs to have the right amount of challenge and stretch for you, which is relative to the situation you’re currently in. When I was unwell with Post-natal Distress (PND) my goal was to get through the day having completed some very basic tasks, like feed baby, sleep baby. And, later on when I became slightly better, make dinner. Conversely when I was thriving as an employed Lead Coach in a large government department, my goals were very different! Ask – is it realistic for me? Is it actually possible/achievable? Asking a third person for their opinion can be a great way to check.
In terms of #2, if you have crappy internal dialogue playing in your head, then you will be very unlikely to achieve your goal. It will erode your belief in yourself by telling you you can’t do it, you’re not good enough to have it, or, the old favourite – who do you think you are? In other words, WHO ARE YOU TO HAVE THIS?
You will then either be afraid of failure, or success, because with a lack of an Inner Coach practice, you won’t have a plan to support yourself 100% no matter what happens. Yes fear of success is something that can happen!
This will lead to some of those very unhelpful patterns that we have all experienced at some stage – self-sabotage and procrastination to name a few.
The solution? A self-talk revolution will be extremely helpful to you, which is the point of the eCourse. And, in the meantime, try these two things:
- write down the very first, tiniest little step you can take towards this goal. Just the very first one, and make it small.
- write down why it is possible for YOU to achieve it. What strength or past achievement or resource do you possess, that will help you?
I talk a lot about learning how to ‘have your own back’ and supporting yourself 100% no matter what, in the Inner Critic to Inner Coach eCourse. They are such essential stills to develop in order to achieve anything. Knowing you can manage potential ‘failure’ is everything.
Any questions, please get in touch!
Love, Charlotte x